YES I’M CHANGING
Today was a big day.
Today, I declared that I am leaving the College of Education and Human Sciences. Today, I declared that I am leaving Super Target. And most importantly: today, I am happy.
I moved to Nebraska with the intent to study Speech Pathology. I was accepted into the program at UNL, and for the past few weeks, that is where I’ve been. The more and more we dug into the field of Speech-Language pathology, the more I hated it. I was super discouraged because I thought I had found something I loved. It wound up being much more focused in science rather than language, and language is the aspect I wanted to study more than anything.
I spoke with my professors. I set up meetings with the head of the department. I searched and searched for a way to love what I was studying, but came up short. A feeling of dread came over me. I realized, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it. There was no wiggle room to take classes that truly interested me. Plus, I had to take loads more science, and chemistry is already kicking my ass. Not my cup of tea.
I broke it down and made a list of what I wanted in life and what I wanted in education.
I want to study linguistics.
I want to live abroad.
I want to study language: the history, gain fluency, etc..
I want to be trilingual.
I want to be happy.
There is a lot on the list. That scratches the surface. But I took that list and I started researching what I could do in my education at UNL to make some of these a reality.
UNL doesn’t have a linguistics major. Okay, major bummer. What could I do now? Digging deeper, I found Global Studies. I found the English department. I found the Modern Language department. All steps in the right direction.
Today I met with my advisor. I told her what I wanted. I told her what I was thinking. And then I decided to take the leap and leave the College of Education and Human Sciences and pursue a major in the College of Arts and Sciences.
I am now double majoring in Global Studies and English with a minor in German.
Big change. I know. But I love it.
See, I really had to evaluate WHY I wanted to be a Speech—Language Pathologist. I hated admitting it to myself, but a huge reason I stuck myself there was because of job security. I broke a promise to myself that I would never major in something purely for the job security. So I am going to do something I’ve thought about for a while but never pursued because it was a “less secure” option.
Screw that. I’m going for it.
I feel so much better with this decision. A huge weight is lifted from my chest and I am giddy with excitement for what I get to study. I will finish out this semester with the classes I have, but come autumn, everything will change.
So what about Super Target? Well, I loved it for a while. I will not publicly declare all of the reasons I am leaving ,but know that I am so so so so so unhappy there. And that is reason enough why I am quitting.
Plus, I got a job at Trader Joes. WIN.
I guess the moral of the story is to actually do what makes you happy. Yeah yeah yeah, easy to say, easy to do. But is it? REALLY evaluate yourself. Look at why you’re doing what you’re doing. Are you happy? I thought I was. Boy, was I fooling myself. I feel so happy today after veering off the path I was on.
On to the next adventure!